.........hangover fairy: A person whose job it is to console a very hungover person. They often supply the hungover with movies, snacks, and hugs. They are a the ultimate find in college.
chinese new year.....
never again
i say that every year but THIS time I mean it!
having a 'hangover fairy' may be nice, but what if you are a fairy and you have a hangover!
i missed work yesterday to, shall we say, detox
fortunately i wasn't the only one in my office who was MIA
including our CEO Stefan
i guess he thought i bounced back better than he did cuz he stopped me by the color lazer printer and said, "Boy you sure look rested!... Oh that's right...... your people have magical remedies for this sort of thing."
normally i would've taken exception to his racial slur, but this was the first time the CEO had ever acknowledged my existence... and also he was right! my peeps do know a thing or two when it comes to home remedies
here i offer some homespun hangover cures & medicinals from around the world. these are all real... many have been around so long that their fairy origins have been long forgotten
Puerto Ricans swear by this: rub a slice of lemon in the armpit of the arm you use to hold your libation.... prior to commencing the drinking process
Sicilian fae dine on dried bull’s penis known as “bully sticks”... which can be purchased at your local Sicilian pet store
Polish fairies recommend drinking a shot of pickle juice the next day
Greek fairies observe the ancient morning after tradition of enjoying a breakfast consisting of sheep lungs and two owl eggs
the German katerfrühstück or 'hangover breakfast' includes pickled herring wrapped around bits of onion and gherkin
what do Romanian gypsies and Mexicans have in common? they both advocate tripe soup as a party cure, best served spicy with rice
i don't doo voodoo... but Haitians insist the best hangover remedy is to stick 13 black pins in the cork of the bottle got you into trouble in the first place
our people in ancient Rome gobbled up deep-fried canaries to cure their overindulgence
did you know Rocky Balboa had fae ancestors? his hangover cure of choice -- the prairie oyster ie a mixture of a whole raw egg yolk, lemon juice, pepper, with a splash of Worcestershire. you drink this like you are doing a shot... so, as far as your body knows you're still partying!
Native Americans.... a favorite culture of the fae.... suggest exercising, sweating, licking the sweat.... spitting it out after is optional
Mongolians opt to consume a pair of pickled sheep eyes mixed in tomato juice.... i see a pattern with the pickling here
saloon fairies back in the Wild West cured cowboys with tea brewed with rabbit droppings
middle agers... meaning people during the Middle Ages, not those working through midlife crises, extolled the virtues of bitter almonds and dried eel
from the pros... Britain boasts the highest fae population in the world. their surefire remedy is to soak a piece of salt cod in fresh water then poach it in milk for 20 minutes. blend in a mixer with crushed garlic and olive oil then serve on toast
along those lines, the Queen Mum's own hangover recipe: a mixture of cardamon tincture, spirit of ammonium, compound tincture of gentian, cloves and camphor oil
God save the Queen!
and your aching head
e.
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